The World Happens Within!

Is the world ugly or beautiful? Is life exciting or boring? Are there enough interesting things to do out there or is living just meaningless?

Life is all that, all the time, and all in the very same moment! It just depends who's looking at it? Who's having the experience, and when!

For you and for me, we probably have experienced all those opposite views of life at some point. We're depressed, and the whole world becomes dull and boring and empty! Then we're happy, and we sing: It's a beautiful life!

This has only one indication, life is neutral! It has all possibilities, and it can be beauty or ugliness. It's our mirror, and will just reflect what we're projecting into it.

There are as many worlds as there are people. And they don't start far from us, the world is born in our heart and mind. It's all those pieces that come our way, and we can make them into an ugly chaos or into a piece of art! The human inner world is the most powerful of all, and it's the only that really exists, for every one of us, separately!

If the World happens within us, then we need to look inside when we look at life. If we say life is boring, we better realize that we really mean: We are boring! When we think it's limited, then we better know that we should expand from within!

The World is just a decision of the heart!

The risk of taking no risk!

I am not unfamiliar with taking risks. And I thank God for giving me the ability and willingness to take risks and have no or little fear. Sometimes it took me awhile to make the decision and get out of my comfort zone. The reward wasn't always immediate. And many times the road less traveled was long and hard, and felt like it was a dead-end. But I have no regrets.

I've seen people who didn't take risks, and may be they avoided much of the trouble that I faced, but their lives remained the exact same for long years; as well as people who ended up having more trouble because they didn't take the risk of change. My hardships gave me experience, strength, and independence, and they were a good test. Many times I felt that I failed, but I am glad I never saw myself panic, even at times when, for example, I had enough money only for a few days ahead, with no income, and no familiar face anywhere close by. I always knew that God will bring about a solution, even if at the last minute, and He always did! I considered my time with no money and no source of income as a forced vacation! Free time that I wouldn't have dared to give to myself if I still had the job. Don't take me wrong, I never got fired from any job, but it's a long story!

I can't see the ability to take risks without faith in God. God doesn't want us to be stupid, but he doesn't want us to be cowards neither! He put us on Earth and He alone prescribed a time for our leaving, so death shouldn't be an issue. And, as the prophet Muhammad once put it, God feeds us the way He feeds birds, they leave their nests with empty stomach, and return to it, at the end of the day, with their stomach full. Our share of money, health, and everything else is all planned up there. One Muslim sufi said it so beautifully, so many centuries ago: don't preoccupy yourself with what is created and guaranteed for you, rather preoccupy yourself with what you were created for! Meaning: don't worry. God created you to work and earn good money that involves no harm and no deception, and He created the outcome for you. No worries. But He also created you to be righteous, to change things for the better, to try to fix injustice when you see it happen, you're created for those tasks that a real human is worthy of undertaking! Don't then forget what you're created to do for mere food, money and safety. Your food and money are all created for you already, and they will come. Remember, you don't really make the money. You could be stuck right at this moment with millions of people who don't have enough food for the day, don't have a roof over their head, and live in places that have no paved roads, no electricity, etc. Be one of them and show me how you'll make the money, brilliant!

Even when I took the risk of leaving religion and my native faith to be more true to myself, God was still there, because I was certain that if He existed, then He supports me in trying to be more honest. He is The True (one of the 99 beautiful names of God) and He supports all our efforts on the path of truth, even if, on the surface, we seem to be straying away from Him.

Risk was the only way anything changed. Major changes in world history all involved major risks, taken by brave people. Risk is also optimistic. I know it. I might seem to be depressed for long times, but guess what, if deep within I wasn't a true optimist, I would never have taken any risk. We take risks because there is a picture in our heart of how things should be, and our optimism that it can happen is the only reason we do those seemingly stupid actions. Once I was so tired of the place I lived in and I decided to move out. I had a car with an engine that smoked heavily every time I drove it. No one believed that it could go a hundred miles away. I drove it from upstate NY to Washington DC, and from there to southwestern Florida. I embarked on this trip with enough money to get me to my destination, with no room for anything unexpected, including any kind of car trouble! Even though I always give advice to my friends to give room for the unexpected in their financial planning, I didn't feel stupid, I just had a strong feeling in my heart that God would not put me into trouble that is beyond my ability to handle. Only in Florida did the brakes completely disappear, but I had reached my destination and I could deal with this trouble safely! Had I stayed, I would have been more safe, but my life would have stayed the same. The story of my risks is a long story, and I might share more of it some day.

I always wanted to change the world, and felt that it was possible. My seemingly fruitless risks were a necessary exercise. No athlete wins the Olympics with no training!

Time, The Scary Gift!

It seems to me that we get a little scared when we face “time”. I mean free time. We might have many things in our life that we’re not happy about, that we’d love to change. In most cases, we know what kind of actions we need to take in order to create change. We also realize that for these actions to be taken, we do need time. Change needs time that is free from the very same things that we need to change. For example, when we need to change our job, we need time to go about finding a new one, but our old job is already taking a lot of our time. So our only chance is our time off work, which is time free of what we don’t like.

Then what happens when we get this free time, when we are living it here and now? Logic suggests that we should be excited and enthusiastic to go ahead and use it. But what happens is far from that. When we have it, the first thing we think about is: how to get rid of it! Think about it, just sitting and watching some random TV, going out with friends and spending hours talking about nothing of meaning, etc. All are things that we actually do to get rid of, instead of use our free time. We can have fun from time to time and do pointless, yet relaxing activities, but when we do have things in our life that need to be changed, and we don’t use much of our free time to do something about it, then there is something seriously wrong in our relationship with this gift that is free time.

The reason why this beautiful gift becomes scary, in my opinion, is due to lack of purpose and lack of plan, lack of destination and lack of directions to get there. If we only have a destination, but no directions to get there, we will be stuck in inaction. All ways will look alike. All roads will look like they lead nowhere we like to go. Then we will only wander and look for ways to get rid of our time, because we have nothing better to do. But if we don’t have a destination, a purpose, we’d be in way more trouble. No point in comparing routes and examining different directions, they all lead somewhere we don’t want to go, because basically we don’t want to go anywhere! And that’s usually the real problem of chronic time wasters.

Another reason why free time can be scary is guilt. When we know we have nothing worthy to do, our heart realizes that this is not how we’re meant to live. We have the time; we don’t know what to do with it, so we get rid of it. Getting rid of time means that whatever you did during that time will make no positive difference whatsoever. Sometimes it even drains your energy. How many times did you feel you had less energy at the end of your weekend than at the start? I bet you did, and not once! This means you used your time off in activities that took more than they gave you. You didn’t build; you just destroyed. When you feel drained at the end of your time-off, get the signal. Your heart and body are trying very hard to talk to you. They have a true message: you got rid of a one-time gift, which is free time you had. They are being more sensitive to the truth of life than our everyday awareness!

We should receive gifts with joy and excitement. It only happens when we know both their use and their value. When you get a very nicely rapped gift, and you develop some high expectations about it, then you open it only to find something you dislike or don’t care for, you’d be disappointed, or neutral at best. But when you get a gift that you know you love, something you really wanted, then you’ll honor it. That’s how it should work with time, free time. We should develop a clear understanding of its value and our use of it, and we’ll be excited every time we have it. You will welcome it with joy and appreciation. You will be confident of its value and what it will bring you, because you have a purpose and you had a plan for it. And at the end of your weekend, I am sure that you will have a lot more energy than you started.

When this happens, our whole world will be upgraded to full colors, after it had been black and white!

Why don't we do what's good for us!?

I always knew that reading a good book is good for me. I knew it from real experience. Yet sometimes I waste a month, or more, without opening a book. A few days ago I picked a book from my library, mostly unread, and started reading it. I was delighted as I went from page to page. I was inspired. Good words have a sort of spiritual, clean energy that goes right to where our higher self resides. They speak to the best in us. Every human has the possibility of moving between lower and higher levels of being, between the best and the worst of one's self:

"ِAnd by the soul and how He formed it, and inspired it its own rebellious evil and its piety! The one who purifies his soul succeeds, and the one who corrupts it fails"
Quran 91:7-10

Even though I knew it, there comes long periods of time where I don't attempt to do myself good by reading a valuable book. But when I do get myself to do it, I just wonder: why in the world did I waste all this time without reading anything! Why did I waste all this time (or all this life! time being life, and not money!), not doing what's good for me! At times we can't help but re-confirming that we are our own worst enemies!

The best promise I can make to myself is this: I will always have a book to read. There are too many great books for one life-time anyway, and we are even wasting much of this one life??!! How insane that is!

However a good book is not worthy just because it's good in itself. Books are ideas conserved and communicated in words. And ideas change people, then people change the world!

We're indeed here only to change the world and make it, along with our own selves, better. And again, there are too many things in the world to change and reform for one life-time anyway, and we're wasting this one life not even thinking of ways to reform it!

The least we can do for those who are suffering the unbelievable cruelty and injustice of some people is to care and think. Yes, think. Of what's happening, how it happened, and how to change it. Thoughts are energy. Didn't you hear that you should be careful what you think, because it might just come true!

Falling a thousand times!

Wise people told us that it doesn't matter how many times we fall in our way to success, as long as we get up again and continue. Honestly, I get discouraged every time I fall, then I resist getting up again, thinking to myself why bother when I am sure to fall again, because this is what happened the last thousand times or so! Who knows, it could be the last 2 thousand times, I never really kept track!

When we are on the ground, we feel tired. We can't initiate movement when we are in such state. Movement needs energy. Especially when it's moving up, against gravity. We need more energy then than what we need when we are already up and running. Getting up after falling is the most difficult task in the journey.

I do agree that we have to get up a thousand and one times, or two thousand and one, or whatever. The real problem is the time we waste laying on the ground after the fall. The question is how? How can we not spend too much time laying down. Because when we fall we will feel tired and discouraged. I wish we could avoid that, but this is what will happen. Hitting the ground after flying does hurt. It can even break a piece or two in our emotional being. Is there a way to heal faster, to get the energy to get up without wasting too much time? I am sure there is. Thinking about it right now!

My 2008 Poem!

My life will change this year
I will be free!
I will have no fear,
I'll have the world to see!

I won't worry about money,
Life will be just great,
I will live somewhere sunny,
I will love my fate,

living will be fun and funny!

I will serve the truth,
With a heart free of hate,
living in eternal youth,
On a clear path, straight
And smooth.

I will live with power,
Serving my lord,
On top will be my tower,
Just will be my sword.

I will live in light,
That I will spread and show,
I will not lose sight,
Of how to make my world grow.

I will be the real Shedou,
I will be Mohamed The Great,
Helping you, be the real you,
For the poor and weak, opening the gate!

Late, but coming!

Sweet is the taste of success! Even though it's not there yet, my nose can smell it, my tongue can taste it, and my heart can feel it; it's there! It's no where but inside, waiting for a chance to materialize and see the light. The waiting has been long, but it won't matter once it is born into the world. I have been carrying this child since a very early age. I knew it was always there, even though no "life pregnancy test" would reveal its existence! All starts as a vision, and my vision is insisting on talking to me, revealing itself in dream-like manners. Would it come to life? It must be there for a reason. Every existence is real, and it does exist. YOU DO EXIST!

Bird in College!

I was sitting in Cornell University, Ithaca, when this bird came and stood there, looking at the horizon! Luckily, I had my camera, so I could make this moment eternal!

Birds have other ways to learn than go to college. Granted, they can visit and fly around, but they have no need for classes and textbooks, like we humans do. They come with all their knowledge already programmed into them, and most important of all, they seem to be happy! It's not because they can fly as we might think, we humans already make planes and we can somewhat fly, but this didn't change much in the quality of out "inner" existence. Birds are happy because they are natural, or spontaneous. They live in harmony with their nature, and with Nature itself. We humans have a greater task; it's a quest for our true nature, and another quest for living in harmony with, or connected to it!

The list

It's sometimes amazing to remember our childhood dreams. Yesterday I remembered a nice list that I used to do over and over when I was a kid, it was a list of all the countries that I want to, or would visit when I grow up. I think it included a little more than 30 countries. However my visiting each country of them wasn't anything like having a few weeks trip. I had my own interpretation of visiting a country. I had two categories, places that I want to know very very well, and others that I just want to visit. I used to say that what I want is to go to every one of the top list countries and stay there for a year, during which I would learn the country's language, listen to its music, read its books and take pictures of all the beautiful places!

As kids, we didn't really know what was waiting for us :) We live in a world of boundaries and visas. I didn't know that to realize this dream, the least I need is to be a multi-millionaire. I also didn't know that citizens of many countries of the world are not easily welcome everywhere. People are merely papers, it doesn't matter who you are, your qualifications, your ambitions, you first have to be on paper in order to think of transcending the paper one day, and be just YOU.

It's nice to go back in memory and see our previous dreams. Even though they might look extremely unrealistic, we might end up doing something that's close to them. Not necessarily spending one year in every country and the rest of my kid's imagination, but at least visiting and knowing the world and its people. Learning more languages. That could be possible, I am optimistic still. Even though it took me years just struggling with my "paper self" in the first foreign country I've ever been to, USA, I am still optimistic. My hope doesn't come from how reality is, it's generated from within myself, from where I know a value in me that's above and beyond human-created boundaries and obstacles. We can do it!

A good question, a better answer

I was just watching the Suze Orman show entitled, "For The Young, Fabulous and Broke" on DVD. She ended her show by mentioning this question that she was asked by a teacher:
"How are you deceiving yourself?"
I thought, while listening to her and before she mentioned the answer given by her teacher, this is a really good question. I was looking for quick answers in my mind. I always thought that awareness is the best we can ever have; especially awareness of our own selves. It wasn't actually difficult to come with answers in my own situation, and I was sure that if I am to give this question some thought, I'd come up with many important facts about how I deceive myself, and therefore have less awareness and understanding of the real causes of my problems.

Well, Suze Orman did the same, she kept telling her teacher of ways and things she deceived herself about, but every time she was getting the same feedback, "Wrong"! So she finally gave up and asked, "Ok, you tell me", and her teacher gave her an answer that was even more illuminating than the question itself:
"You are deceiving yourself by thinking that you are not perfect!"

Isn't that a good point, that when we have perfection as a starting point, we are more likely to become and do more and better?! No matter what our current situation, we are perfect in our human potential, we are perfect because God is perfect, fair and merciful. Only if we know it enough.

Promises!

I don't always keep my promises. Well, only those that I make to myself. I have finished the book mentioned in my last post, and I wanted to write something about it, not really for "MY READERS", probably non-existent in this new and inactive blog. The point is, we read books, good or great, and... and that's it. I have always longed for some better way to read, some method that would allow our soul and our mind to retain all the worthy intellectual nutrients. One way that I think of is to rewrite about whatever has captured our attention, which is usually something of significance to us. Rewriting it is a way of practicing it, and, as we all know, practice is the way to master anything, be it physical or mental. I've been losing so much of my time, and of my life! :(